Do NOT read...

***READ THIS AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION, IF YOURE UPSET OR ANGRY AFTER READING THIS, DON'T SAY I NEVER WARN YOU***

**This is my space and I write what I want, if you're unhappy then please leave**

I have to be honest, I didn't want to blog about this post previously. I mean yea, at the point of time 1 month back, I was filled with anger and just wanted to vent my frustrations here, but I didn't cause I felt that it was a relieve that it was over and just wanted to move on. But last night, you just HAD to bring it all up again and back to me. Well it may always seem that I'm that bad person and I'm the one at fault, but hey so much for gender equality, I think I deserve my ranting space, and guys shouldn't always HAVE to be the magnanimous gentlemanly person that the society stereotypes, not to certain people at least! You can carry on your sob story of sorry antics, and have everyone pitying you; I don't give a damn. Not to say that I'm in no wrong either, but honestly I've heard a lot about you too that no one dares to bring to the surface for fear of more drama.


So the story goes: last night I was trying to rush through my project cause I was gonna have the presentation and submission the next morning, and well there were communication breakdowns and what not and I didn't get to even see the slides ( but this is honestly not the point in this whole post), so I went to tweet stuff as I was angry and worried and annoyed all at the same time.
For one of the tweet, I tweeted something like: "this is like a reminiscence of my previous project, where communication was obviously a problem"
Well well, not that being pissed was not bad enough, SOMEONE had to indirectly shoot me about it, and this is not her first time doing that.
From her, the exact words: "I see...so u never thought that u were in the wrong after all that had happened. I salute u dude."
Well firstly I was talking about my CURRENT PROJECT and not her, so she just by hook or by crook had to bring up something that we are all obviously not happy about. And in all honesty, if She had her conscience clear and all, she wouldn't have tweeted that.
Secondly, I REALLY WASN'T IN THE WRONG ENTIRELY SO STOP SELLING YOU SOB STORY TO EVERYONE TO MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE AN INNOCENT PARTY THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!
*FYI, I am not the only one that said this/thinks this way too.

So if you come to think about it, who was the ACTUAL one that wanted to start a series of tweet-war and shoot-backs? Huh?

And then she tweeted something like she has given up TRYING to make things right. Like TRYING?! Are you sure? You didn't even bother to put a "T" to trying.

If you're lost up till now, lemme bring you back to month ago so you'll FULLY understand what's going on. And for those of you who have heard HER side of the story, lemme now share MY SIDE of the story, DETAILED-ly recorded.

I was really excited to work with these bunch of gals at first, especially since I've not worked with one of them before, one that I'm always impressed by her work and presentation skills. Well so I was like an outsider trying to penetrate into a current clique, not much of a problem for me as long as we keep feelings aside. So my that "dear" mate of mine, lets call her Z, allocates us the work each of us had to research respectively. Seems fine so far and I didn't felt like she had any problems with me cause I've worked with her in previous projects.

So we were suppose to get our research done in by our first project meeting, note that it is "BY". And there I was sitting there, staring into space, laptop in front of me with my research all done up, only to see the rest starting to do their research there and then. I mean hey you gotta be fair, if you said to research by meeting, then do so, if you can't make it, then at least tell me right? So I don't have to rush through just to find out that nobody has it done yet. I know you all very close but can there at least be some communication with me? So basically the whole meeting I just sat there and stoned.

Ok so the first meeting, I can let it pass, second meeting, which she basically held it at a time for her own convenience only, we met up to discuss stuff that we were suppose to do during the first meeting. This was when I realize something was not right, whatever suggestions I had would just be shot down almost immediately, or you might seemingly agree at first but push it to the side later on. Body language also give off what is going through a person psychological. You with your back constantly facing me, and not looking at me whenever I was sharing something shows ALOT. I'm so glad there was mediator in the group, which I believed tried very hard to get things together, which I really applaud her. A total team player. Z on the other hand gives the "IDGAF to what you're talking about" face.

I got my message. Z didn't wanna really interact with me, which I only found out at the end of the project that it was due to a build up of previous projects, which she totally didn't tell me despite the group having confrontational talks on TWO separate occasions. She felt that I didn't contribute enough and all for previous projects and so just conveniently decides to give me a cold shoulder for the current project. I can't even begin to understand why someone would choose to tell you this at the end and just let matters snowball, and still expect things to miraculously turn out fine?

I was like a total outsider trying to permeate through, whenever there was any decisions, discussions and dateline, yes especially dateline, I would only know like the day before. HOW IN THE WORLD DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DELIVER OR TO APPEAR FOR MEETINGS IF YOU ONLY CHOOSE TO WANNA INFORM ME AT SUCH A LAST MINUTE?! Yes I accept that my work isn't the best that it could have been, but have you looked at yours? Copying and pasting is no way a grade higher. Being kiasu is also not to any advantage if you don't understand your basic requirements. Most of the time, the mediator had to play as the middleman between me and Z, passing messages across.
Discussions were always between them 3, and I would be the one trying my best to contribute, only to have people lashing at me that I was trying to enforce my idea. Lol joke? How to enforce when I didn't get to be part of a discussion to begin with?

You ask me why I choose not to come for every meeting after, have you seen the way you acted during meetings? For some reason you are always depressed about something, I don't care if its your boyfriend or what but don't bring your feelings in when we are doing work. You'll give the moody face as if everybody owes you something liddat, and the constant ignoring, and you still dare say that I'm very bossy when I communicate ideas across and wants to enforce people to use my idea? Please la I think you are stuck in yr 1? I don't deny that I was like that previously, but for THAT particular project I was really trying to tone down everything.

The thing is no one is absolutely right or wrong, and I am upset over how one project could have affected the rest that was going on concurrently. If you're still living in denial that Im wrong and showing no remorse then I have nothing to say. At least I know I'm trying to put in more effort into my current projects, I may still be a mean person, but believe me I'm really trying.

Yes I'm a horrible person, I'm blunt, bossy,slack, annoying, fat (lol does this matter? Haha) , evil, ungentlemanly, heartless, sacarstic, while you're an angel ok? That deserves all the sympathy.

Let this be the end and not the beginning of a whole other drama.

Boy, why is my life so full of drama?

A whacky clash

Yay, I've finally found a way to self-take some #ootd at home, so I guess I would posting some outfits from time to time.

 

And in case you're wondering, this is sorta what I wear to school normally.

 

 

 

Vandalized quotes...

So, on a moment of impulse, I decided to do some writing on my diary.

Haven't had time to really update this week. Stuck with tests and projects and I just can't wait to get this academic year over and done with.

Friends: Part 2.0

You may be wondering where's part 1? Well I wanted to blog things in chronological order so that it's easier to understand, but I felt compelled to some what start with this post.

When I first started my blog, apart from the normal post that I would write about random events from my life, however as I slowly transit to talking about my emotions and what not, I realize that people just stop reading all this shit. Maybe everyone is thinking I'm dwelling in self-pity and overtly emo, but well it's ok, because only the people who truly care will bother about my feelings.
But even so, previously I would try my very best to not touch on the topic of friendship and family. Well firstly it's a very sensitive topic, and it's easy for people to just judge rather than understand. Moreover I don't really have any flair in writing, so some people might mistake my what I'm trying to say for something else.

Many stuff has happened recently, and I just don't really know how things would get to this state. It got me thinking. ALOT. Who am I actually? How do I react to things? Am I who you think I really am?

I am someone that is very stubborn, strong-headed. I have my own opinions in everything I do and I'm very vocal about it. Yea I'm definitely not the nicest person around, but I honestly don't think I'm that bad either. I just think most people are not prepared nor patient to understand me better. I have my own issues, very personal ones that I don't normally tell even the closest of friends, maybe that's why I have this strong wall of defense around me that no normal being can penetrate through. I have trust issues; I've been hurt and taken advantage too many times, the past, present and probably even in the future. Everyone has their issues, and it is these same issues that mould a persons character to what it is today. Most people might think I'm self-centered, and I know it might seem that way. However most part of it, I just don't want to be taken advantage of. It takes time for me to accept those around me, and people that I want in my life, for the rest of my life. I'm trying to be more selfless, more of everything I was in the past, but it really isn't easy. Do you know that even till today, even with the closest of friends, I still don't feel I'm respected, I'm truly cared for, I'm someone that makes an impact in your life. There are people who try to break through my walls, however it is not easy, and most of them aren't prepared for the possibly-arduous-process. I don't blame them, for I know it's truly a problem that starts with me. I just find it a waste of the many good stuff that could happen.

I've never been truly happy; even I do not have the answer for that. I always have to force some happiness in me whenever I'm forced in a social setting, something that feels so fake to me. However I still do it. I try to be the funny nonsensical guy these days when I meet a bunch of new people. Yea, they probably like that "Roy", however the moment I go back to my normal-emo-self, most of them are not use to it and they just break away. In orientation, in camps, I'm these overly high enthu being, that's cause nobody sort of knows each other and I just felt like me being that could help them break the ice. And maybe cause of the way I am then people would have a misconception of me of how I truly am, when I'm actually just a social turtle.

Ok I seem to be getting lost in my words so let's start the story of "friends".

I remember when I first met this friend of mine, probably 2 yrs back. I was just like "whoa ok, must be some popular kid, must be damn difficult to approach". Haha actually it isn't difficult to guess who this person is, but I would try to keep it as anonymous as possible. So at that time I was very new to this new environment, like everyone would be in a new school. But for me it was different, cause I didn't know anyone outside class. So for me to join the club it was nerve wrecking, since I had no friends. I remember I joined midway, and my first session I didn't really talk to anyone; it was so hard to break through, especially so cause I thought most of you were the seniors, you included! *haha

You weren't the first few people I talked to, in fact I had no recollection of how we started talking. But yea somehow we started talking and I thought that you were a very fun person, well it was expected. Haha you had such a high level of confidence, and I was damn impressed with your singing (ok actually everyone else included so don't get big headed!), and you slowly introduced me to the rest of the people in the club, that made me feel less awkward, and I had a reason to keep going for practice

Coincidentally, we were actually from the same course and same lecture. You started hanging out with me, and slowly the people around me, and to be honest at that point of time I felt you were closer to me than I was closer to you. Slowly I pondered upon why you would keep hanging out with us, I was wary, I was scared that you might end up being like people from my history; calling me "friend" just to know the people around me. I was afraid, and till a point where I was irritated cause it's seems like everywhere I was you would be there. Till one day you opened up to me, I knew the reason, and I didn't expect that to come from someone whom I thought was so confident and so popular. I understood and I tried to help you out. But still apparently people felt that I was treating you like dirt, and then the point where we all thought you were leaving for good, I was sad. You once said your expectations of a best friend, I know and I understand. I was disappointed that I'm not a "best" friend, but nonetheless it's just a label, and I'm glad enough that there's someone that I could share stuff with.

I planned a gathering for you before you left, though felt it was quite fail. Lol! Then I heard something like " you normally don't care don't care about him, then suddenly you plan something before he leaves, like act only, like wah you damn nice liddat". A remark that I was angry, but at the same time sad to hear.

Fastforward a little, and you came back after all. Haha I was kinda expecting it to be honest? But maybe you're back for a reason? I don't know, but after that things just start going wrong for me, the tables turned. Everything was going haywire for me and my class, and everyone else that I felt I was really really close to, that suddenly just turned their backs on me. I was glad you were around, for if not I wouldn't know who else to turn to. Slowly, I shared a lot, and really I felt that the walls were broken down a little. Haven't been like this for a long long time. Someone that I felt was listening not for the sake of listening, not for the sake of patronizing. But cause you bothered.

Of course we all have our bad points, and so do you. Haha. When you and 2 of your other good friends fell apart, I sorta understand why. I didn't tell you this, but I knew the whole story. I knew that it wasn't a one-sided cause. But I knew how you felt then and I promised to keep it a secret. Ok actually I felt that you were the bigger one at fault. However I tried though to make both sides at ease, and I felt happy that you all are better now, because I still feel that they care(d) for you.

It's easy for people to judge, and I don't bother making known to others what I've done for my friends. Because I don't think it's a great feat or anything. And I don't need to prove myself to anyone. I'm just writing this as a recollection, to our friendship. Don't worry there will be others that I will be talking about in future. Lolol!

I didn't expect you to be sad after talking to you yesterday, it was meant to be a happy day for you. I probably shouldn't have tagged along. I just felt weird and I thought it would be best to clarify. Probably dwelling in self pity throughout our conversation. Maybe I was afraid that we might grow distant cause of this. I admit I don't really have alot of friends, so I was scared that I might lose you too.

But I'm happy, for you, that you've found another 3 sparkles to add some joy in your life. Friends sometimes need some effort to co-exist (whatever that means). I can tell that you're always in a joyful mood whenever you are together with them, and I'm glad you found them.

I think everyone that walked into your life has a certain purpose. To break you up, only to have someone to rebuild you. To springboard you to others that would be there for you eternally. To let you see the true colors of people around you. Whatever it is, I guess everyone at the crossroad has a purpose. I think I knew what my purpose was, and yours too.

Thank you for being there for me, and maybe it's time we move on.

I have no idea what definitive conclusion there is to this post.

"All the best, and stay happy :D"

SB Hunks and Babes

So by the grace of god, or some power from the parallel dimension, I was chosen to be one of the contestants for the scchool of business 'beauty pageant' LOLOL

So the story goes...

I totally remember when they first launched the news for the competition, I was like rejecting everybody from the committee asking me to join cause I was like "hell nooooooo!" and then apparently Cheowyi sabo me and registered my name down, but I still didn't wanna join. But I guess its karma, that I had to join in the end. HAHA cause I owe Meiyee from the SB comm a favour, and she die die want me to join cause she say they need a guy with "talent" LOLOL thats how I ended up going for the preliminary interview.

OMG I was really trying my best to not be in it, so I was super bitchy and being such an ass throughout the interview, but yea the bottomline is I still become the final 5. (I bet you guys out there must be laughing your gut out)

Rehearsing for the 'catwalk'

The other contestants

Malcolm and the comm showing us how to do the walk-in

My female partner for that event: Jazley

Talentime! Jazley with Matthew

and obviously my talent would be to sing

The judges

Bertrand and Michelle (I think?)

Rajinder, Bert and Michelle. Yes my class has me as the hunk and Raj as the babe LOLOL!

VOTING TIME! I attempted to pull for votes haha

Q&A. For someone reason they always managed to capture my face in some unglam moment T.T

Everyone in the competition

And the Winners for SB HUNKS AND BABES

I think I look fatter then. Cause it was before the holidays

SBMC

So I got a 100 buck voucher as my prize, which I'm FINALLY gonna get this wed! Not bad eh! haha, to be honest, it was quite an experience. And I'm really glad Bert won cause I think he's the best representation of it. LOL

Photos: Cheowyi

Brunch @ Dean & Deluca

Finally got to visit Dean & Deluca some (or many) weeks ago with Serene. Our main reason for meetup though was for her to pass me some stuff she bought from Taiwan, which she forgot to bring. LOL

 

So in case you've no idea where it is, it's located at Orchard Central at Somerset, the same floor as editors market (5th floor I think?) Anyway cause this is not like a food review so I don't wanna make it so formal. I mean blogs are meant to be casual and easy, and that's why it's called a blog and not a website.

 

It has this little supermarket/grocer section where you could buy really interesting ingredients.

Le menu



My All American Breakfast which costs like 20+ bucks!



Serene's prawn & advocado salad

And so quiche (I think?)

So to be honest, the food really wasn't that great, in fact it really wasn't worth the price at all. The chocolate latte I had wasn't hot enough, and my breakfast set just tastes so...homemade.

However I do have to say that the quiche was quite nice, the feeling at least, as for the pastry it was a tad too hard.

I 'might' visit it again, but probably not on an empty stomach

 

And our #ootd for that day

 

-----

 

Anyways, you know how I always feel how boring my life was? But looking at my photos, I seem to have quite a few events happening, just that I too lazy tired to upload/blog them! Hahaha

 

Check back soon ya?



Yet another day

Hi guys, I'm back with a short post. Well I have many stuff that I wanna write but I just haven't had the time to edit photos.

So I have momentarily completed GBE project, and I'm really struggling with FAM. Term is a really short one and everyday just seems to be flying past so quickly.

It's only been 2 weeks into January, and I'm already so afraid of losing track of my new year resolutions. Been trying very very hard to exercise/gym consistently *chuckles* but I honestly don't see/feel a diff and it's quite disappointing. Sometimes I just wonder why can't I look like the typical average guy. Meh...

So check back again tmr cause I'm most probably gonna have a food post ready :D

And here's my week in pictures:

Satchel me once more

Yes I bought another satchel,

Yes its yellow again,

but its lime-yellow

Men's Fashion Week 2012

Just some visuals from MFW last year, wanted to make it into a magazine format like last year but I realised I didn't manage to take much photos, or rather my camera sucks :(

Yup, I totally know that this post is waaaaaaay overdue!